have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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