Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
