Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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