thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
