So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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