I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
