do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
