member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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