i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
