Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
