This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
