i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
