Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this beer tastes like vomit already
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
