I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
