party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
