god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
me + whiskey = a bad person
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
