Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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