His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
