Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
