Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
