I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
