Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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