So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
