she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have fence marks all over my body
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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