She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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