Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
