I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
