I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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