She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
