I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
