wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
