so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
