East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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