capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
