The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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