someone threw a dead crab at me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
