I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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