he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
