She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
