just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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