somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
