NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
