she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
