You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
