He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
