found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
