Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
