when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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