I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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