i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
