his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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